Happiness is what we’re all seeking. We’re always going after something that we believe will make us feel content. The happiness and well-being industry is valued at over $575 billion! I’ve been on a journey with my own happiness, and now I help others live their happiest lives.

I’m able to say I’m worthy the way I am, I don’t need to pretend or wear a mask or put up walls and hide my emotions. It’s okay to laugh or cry, or even both, at the same time. I’m grateful for who I am. Yes, I have many flaws because I’m human but I can now laugh at those flaws and appreciate that they’re what makes me unique.

Yet, it hasn’t always been this way.

Recently I’ve been suffering from an allergic reaction across my skin and a number of years ago I would’ve done everything I could to hide it with makeup or avoid people. If I put on weight my automatic thoughts were plagued with thoughts about how I would be perceived. I wouldn’t wear clothes I loved.

My shame meant I missed out on so many key life events like my parent’s 50th wedding anniversary or the christening of my brother’s children and even when my grandparents passed away.

I withdrew into comfort and certainty, burying myself in my work and numbing my pain with food the way an addict escapes their thoughts with numbing. I got a high from buying and would constantly be at auctions treasure hunting and hoarding. I carried on feeding the addictions so I could avoid my feelings and my thoughts.

I feared failure and only took meticulously calculated risks; every decision was so carefully planned out that even in my marriage I felt like I had settled to tick a box. I settled into corporate life into a secure career. I was obsessed with creating a security blanket in my finances too, comparing prices and shopping around for basics even toilet rolls.

I didn’t ever put myself out there to avoid rejection.

Everything had to be perfect, from my house, to events, all my life revolved around my perfectionism. I had to be flawless. I constantly wanted to appear this way to colleagues, friends, and my husband.

Things only changed for me when I finally accepted myself and stopped judging who I am . I began to cultivate gratitude for my strengths and blessings and acceptance of my imperfections. I worked on myself until I not only accepted my flaws but recognised that they are a part of me to be celebrated.

Then I was able to form meaningful relationships, carry out meaningful work and lead a meaningful life I was proud of. Today I fail at many things because I have the confidence to try so much more. I make typos on LinkedIn, I double-book myself in my calendar, I don’t stick to strict regimes, I sleep in sometimes, I take the wrong route and don’t plan everything to the minute. I’ve let go of the shame of failing and saying sorry and begun taking accountability for things in my life.

People with high self-acceptance are happier, perform better at work, and have better relationships. Dr Mark Williamson, Director of Action for Happiness, said: “Our society puts huge pressure on us to be successful and to constantly compare ourselves with others. If we can learn to be more accepting of ourselves as we really are, we’re likely to be much happier.” In a study by The University of Huddersfield, 45% rated themselves less than five out of ten in self-acceptance.

Acceptance begins with what you say to yourself. Don’t accept the automatic thoughts that you’re not worthy in any way. See them for what they are. Recognise patterns in trying to read others’ minds, fortune telling, seeing things in black and white and discounting the positive. You have full autonomy in what you say to yourself and what of that you take to heart.

They say nothing is guaranteed in life, but I say that happiness is guaranteed when you fully accept yourself and let go of the idea that you can control others’ perceptions of you.

‘Dance like nobody’s watching; love like you’ve never been hurt. Sing like nobody’s listening; live like it’s heaven on earth. ‘ – William Watson Purkey.