Perfection kills more dreams than failure ever will.

I believed for a long time that I wasn’t good enough until things were perfect. ‘I’m not good enough’ is a core belief many of us have felt at some point and it holds us back from living authentically. That belief is draining and drives us into trying to change who we are to fit a version of ourselves we believe is much more ‘acceptable’.

The desire for perfection is perpetuated by the unrealistic portrayal of the highlight reels people share on social media, in magazines, and on LinkedIn. We’re being sold the perfect life and continuously told we’ll never measure up. Perfect, hairless, toned and strong bodies are celebrated whilst normal bodies rarely get a look into the high-flying magazines. We’re shelling out on average £482.51 a year on beauty products (Glamour Magazine) and the self-development industry will be worth $56.66 billion by 2027 (Grand View Research). We know that perfection is unattainable, yet we so often strive to do that, I certainly did.

After letting go of the need to conform, I now notice it so much in others. One guy I dated was constantly replacing things where they ‘belonged’ and the cleaning didn’t end until all the surfaces were gleaming.

Perfectionism gives us an endless list of things to do and achieve. This results in us thinking that nothing is ever good enough. Social media algorithms are geared toward showing us that fitness model with the abs, the entrepreneur with the flashy cars and the super-mum with four immaculately dressed kids selling her course on six-figure passive income. We see far more of the ‘extraordinary’ online than is the reality. Perfectionism can stop you before you even started, it can paralyse us to take any action rather than taking the wrong one.

Why Do We Need To Be Perfect?

Perfectionistic beliefs stem from wanting acceptance, love and feelings of worthiness and that these must be earned through being perfect or superior in some way. You have to go back to these limiting beliefs and replace them with positive beliefs that will propel you forward.

The Way Out

There is a way out, trust me. You have to consistently question yourself every time, ask yourself: so what if this isn’t perfect? Is it better to do this imperfectly than not at all? Remember that even Olympians don’t get perfect scores and they are the best in their field in the world. Leaders make mistakes all the time, the difference is learning from that, and aiming to be 1% better than 100% perfect.

For example, if you have an important pitch: create a checklist with specific tasks or milestones. Perfectionism may make you sweat over the aesthetics, tone and delivery but following a set process with discrete and measurable goals is far easier. Don’t worry, this can include spellchecks and branding it up.

If we’re constantly aiming for perfectionism, we will feel constantly overwhelmed and stressed. There’s a lot of crossover between perfectionism, depression and anxiety because of the amount of self-criticism that often follows. Being kind to ourselves can be easier said than done. A simple yet effective tool is called the ‘50 stacks’. Write down the opposite to your insecurity then bullet 50 reasons why that is, in fact, true.

E.g. I’m actually okay at my job:

• I’ve never been sacked.
• I get given more projects.
• I had good feedback from a client.
• I’m still able to pay my mortgage.
• I’m more than my role.
• I’ve learned and grown from all my errors and I’m a better leader because of it.
• And on you go…

You can never be yourself if you’re terrified of being imperfect, always trying to create a version of yourself that doesn’t exist. When we embrace imperfection we give ourselves permission to live on our own terms. It gives you the ability to achieve your goals and live freely without the need to conform, pretend or pursue anything that doesn’t align with our values.