Making a good first impression is great but leaving a lasting impression is important if you want to be remembered and unlock many more life opportunities. We meet an average of 80,000 people in our lifetime (Funders & Founders) and of those, only 15 will become our good friends, 50 friends, 150 meaningful contacts, 500 acquaintances and 1500 people you recognise (BBC.com).
If we remember less than 2% of people we meet – what made those people stand out enough to leave a lasting impression over those who didn’t? It takes just a quick glance, maybe three seconds, for someone to evaluate you when you meet for the first time (mindtools.com). In this short time, the other person forms an opinion about you based on your appearance, your body language, your demeanor, your mannerisms, and how you are dressed. An impression becomes lasting when you connect with a person at a level where you make it into that 1.8% of memorable interactions.
Why Does This Matter?
The foundation of human happiness lies in connection and community. People want to work with people, not businesses and friendships are created through connection and sharing. “If you consistently make a positive, memorable impact on your boss, your co-workers, and even your employees, you’ll increase your chances of getting hand-picked for the best opportunities when they come knocking, paving your way to career success” – Forbes.com.
Not all of us are great at networking, being personable and leaving exceptional first impressions whilst being our authentic selves doesn’t come naturally to many. I can remember many times in my earlier life where I was anxious around corporate events and parties. I felt vulnerable, out of place and found myself overthinking ‘what if they don’t like me’, ‘what do they think of me’, ‘what if I say the wrong thing?’ rather than being concerned about what I thought of them.
How to Leave a Lasting Impression
A lasting impression starts with a great first impression and the best way to do this, as in Dale Carnegie’s ‘How To Win Friends and Influence People’, is to smile. Even forcing a smile can kid your brain into releasing endorphins for it to become genuine soon enough.
The first factor in making this first impression last, is confidence. Being confident in who you are and having value to give to others makes it much easier to go into conversations and be able to command respect. Confidence is the ability to be your authentic self, regardless of the surroundings. For me, one way of showing confidence and authenticity is through how I dress, and wearing comfortable clothes that feel good on me. It’s hard to be your authentic self and feel truly comfortable in your own skin if your shoes are hurting and your outfit is pinching. If your usual wardrobe choices are bold and stand-out then dressing up exuberantly is authentic to you and your personality. Authenticity builds trust which is the foundation of both a great friendship and working relationship.
The second factor is making the other person feel valued. Remember their name by repeating it back to them and using it throughout conversation. Make eye contact, turn your body towards theirs and ask questions. Don’t just wait for your turn to speak but really listen and make them feel heard. Nothing is more flattering than someone’s undivided attention, especially with so many other things fighting for it!
The third factor is being interesting to engage with. I’ve found giving people something to talk about is a great way to drive the conversation. Give them the extra detail to make them curious, for example ‘how are you?’ and a response ‘fine thank you’ doesn’t drive the conversation forward or give further talking points. In response to the question ‘what do you do?’ I could respond ‘I am a life coach’ but the better response is ‘I empower people to live their happiest lives on their own terms’. Deliver those additional facts and become a storyteller whilst also giving them the opportunity to do the same.
The final factor to consider is how you make someone else feel. There is an art to showing and emanating positive energy. Being optimistic and fun draws people to us. Whilst we can commonly find ground with others through complaining, always make a concerted effort to find a positive connection. When someone makes us feel good, laugh and smile in turn, we are far more likely to remember them and in a positive light. If we concern ourselves only with what others think of us, we can end up making decisions that don’t align with who we really are. Becoming more our true selves and confident in that, a great listener and a positive person to be around means we are more likely to leave impressions that last.
