If nothing is wrong, why would you ever do anything differently? The problem is many of us are living in denial. When you deny your reality and what is going on, it can make your life harder to live. We all have realities we are ignoring from addiction to social media, to our health, our relationships, our stress levels, fatigue and so much more.

You might feel in your gut that something isn’t quite right, but everything seems ok or could be worse. So, we carry on without changing anything, expecting different results. If you want to become the happiest version of yourself, you need to start getting honest with reality.

I lived in denial for many years. These realities were so blatant they were staring me in the face. I was ignoring the things that would be in my best interests like losing weight, ending a toxic relationship, and stopping chasing things that didn’t fulfill me. I didn’t allow myself to dwell on the thoughts of what was happening in my life. Instead, I kept my head down, worked hard, and didn’t allow myself to think about the problems in my life. I kept justifying these feelings thinking ‘you can’t have it all’. I tried to solve my issues by doing more of the wrong things because I wasn’t accepting what was wrong.

I had to get honest with myself which was scary and uncomfortable as it meant facing my own failures. I was effectively fooling myself and nobody else. The key is ‘radical acceptance’. This phrase might bring up anxiety if we’re used to pushing issues away. Accepting isn’t the same as being ok with something. It also doesn’t mean accepting and giving up, resigning to what is. Acceptance takes immense amounts of courage, which is why so few do it.

Tara Branch, in her book ‘Radical Acceptance’ says “The boundary to what we can accept is the boundary to our freedom”. She talks about looking at ourselves and our lives to see exactly how things are, without judgement. When we can break free from denial and see what is serving us and what isn’t, we can begin to make effective changes to improve our lives. Nothing is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ in radical acceptance, it just ‘is’. We can let it be, or choose to enact change. Doing nothing at all is also a choice.

The Harvard Business Review stated that the top reasons people avoid change are the fear of loss of control, surprises, and uncertainty. When we seek radical acceptance, we gain control and leave less room for surprises and uncertainty.

If you were to carry on living the way you are now, what are the potential disadvantages? Maybe you would continue to let unfulfilling relationships take away your energy, remain in a job you’re not passionate about or continue binge-eating your way out of your jeans when stressed. On the flip side, if you address the issues in your life and make positive changes, what are the potential advantages? You might be more fulfilled and creative, have more energy, and finally, be able to run 5k or start that business. You could be living your happiest life.

If you’re ready to look clearly at your life, accept exactly what’s going on and make those changes, I can help you achieve what may seem impossible today.