Showing emotion is allowing yourself to be vulnerable. In the corporate world, a cut-throat level-headed approach was necessary to get ahead, but not anymore. In fact, leaders who are adept at recognising emotions and encouraging people to share them can boost creativity and increase joy in the workplace (Professor Ina Toegel).

There are many unwritten rules about showing emotions in the workplace and the ‘norms’ we should be following. We should show joy at a colleague’s engagement and frustration at a lost client. Yet, if someone is ever seen crying at work, they are perceived as weak and out of control. Common beliefs include ‘showing emotions can be seen as a failure’, ‘leaders should be perfect, they don’t make mistakes, they’re always in control’, and  ‘being seen to be upset will ruin my chance of a promotion’.

I struggled with showing my emotions in the workplace and kept how I truly felt hidden for many years as I climbed the corporate ladder. You want to be your ‘authentic self’ but many of us grow up in environments where emotions belong only at home, not in the workplace. Whilst 3.9 million UK residents still work from home or flexibly, emotions can’t be left at home, since that’s where pretty much all work is being conducted at the moment.

There are also gendered nuances in showing emotion in a corporate context. If a woman raises her voice, it’s seen as belligerent and angry or out of control. If a man raises his voice, it’s assertive and shows leadership. Toxic masculinity to not show frustration and ‘deal with it’ without complaining also harbours resentment and increases burnout.

What does hiding all this emotion do to us?

When we stifle how we truly feel it fatigues us, it’s really exhausting to suppress your emotions for so long. It leads to health problems, higher stress levels, burnout, and poor communication. You spend time trying to control and regulate your emotions rather than doing your work.

Emotions aren’t a bad thing, they’re what separate us from robots. People want to buy from people, especially those that show emotion and humanity. If you think of a company with an enigmatic and likeable leader, Richard Branson and Virgin may spring to mind. Emotions allow people to connect, and when leaders recognise and acknowledge their employee’s emotions, they create the psychological safety that allows their teams to innovate and perform at their best.

Dr Michael Parke from the Robert H. Smith School of Business says “an authentic emotional climate is that team members can share their true feelings and work through them with their colleagues, which usually leads to stronger relations”. Good leaders share their emotions, how they feel about the progress, the company’s future and therefore the future of the team which builds trust. It then impacts the whole organisational culture of openness and honesty.

This doesn’t mean letting loose and disrupting others with aggressive outbursts, rolling your eyes or spending the whole day sobbing at your desk. Being overly emotional in business can create problems like rash decisions, clouding objective judgements and ruining negotiations. There are, however, many more problems stemming from leadership without emotion that doesn’t inspire or motivate.

You shouldn’t feel guilty or apologise for explaining how you feel or have shame about a legitimate emotional response. If you’re having a valid reaction to someone crossing your boundaries, being hurtful, unfair or taking advantage, then feel that emotion enough to take action. The world will be better for it if more people speak out. Someone may not even know their actions had a negative impact.

Getting more in touch with your emotions to understand them, why you feel them and what is both a negative and positive trigger for them in turn, allows you to have greater mastery over your emotions – feeling more positive, more of the time. Cultivating positive emotions is an essential element of effective leadership. Positive emotions broaden employees’ thinking, making them more open to new ideas and possibilities. Positivity and motivation are contagious and an organisation with a culture where leaders are trusted and employees can be open, is a place where innovation is plentiful and top talent is both attracted and retained.

If you or your team want to look at using the power of positive emotion and encouraging openness and transparency in your working life, then book an introductory call!