I used to think that certain things were reserved for others, those who had an unwavering belief in themselves and their abilities. Those people that walk onto any stage and immediately grab the attention of their audience. They might not be the most knowledgeable or talented, but they have confidence. We’re attracted to people with confidence. It inspires, it sells and it makes people successful. A study by Prof. Roy Baumeister concluded that confident people are the happiest in the world.

Confidence correlates with the ability to set boundaries in your life, be more resilient and earning people’s respect. However, 85% of people in the world have suffered from low confidence (more-selfesteem.com) and 70% of girls do not consider themselves good enough in some way compared to others according to the National Report on Self Esteem, (2008).

Gaining confidence was the biggest game changer in reaching the next level in my life, so I want to share my best advice for increasing your own and feeling secure in your judgements.

You can indeed grow your confidence and overcome low self-esteem. Marilyn Monroe, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Angelina Jolie and many more well-known ‘confident’ people were not always outgoing.  “Confidence is built on choices and accomplishments that feed your passion, and that make you feel happy and proud of who you are” – Frances Bridges, Forbes.com.

Where does low confidence stem from?

Confidence is defined as self-belief. If at any point in your life you have been told or made to feel not good enough, this could impact your self-esteem. For example, being chosen last in the school sports team. Your confidence is how sure you are of that belief, so having this re-enforced by being scolded by a pushy parent for not making the A team will confirm that you aren’t good enough compared to the others that were selected.

When you want to develop your confidence there are a number of things you could do and they go back to knowing your boundaries and building the belief that you’re enough as you are.

Take care of yourself first.

Going for that makeover, getting your nails done, going for that walk, however caring for yourself looks. Someone who thinks they’re deserving of love, pampering and attention will dedicate more time to themselves than those who don’t think they’re worthy. How would you treat yourself if you believed you were enough as you are? Plan one thing in your diary that a confident you would do or that’ll make you feel genuinely good right now.

Stop judging yourself.

Easier said than done, remember you are not your thoughts. If you find yourself in a spiral of self-deprecating thoughts, distract your attention. In ‘Solve For Happy’, Mo Gawdat says you should ask your mind to ‘go find you a better thought’. Keep a list in your phone notes of reasons why you are not a terrible human and should cut yourself some slack.

Fake it till you make it.

Social Scientist Amy Cuddy has proved this actually works. We can change the way we feel about and present ourselves by altering our behaviour from the outside in. How would you act if you knew you were valuable? How would you start a conversation if you didn’t need the other person to instantly like you? What would you wear if you had no concern for what others thought of you? Go into one interaction today as if you had all the belief in yourself in the world.

Take up space.

Literally. Confident people know they have as much right to be there as everyone else. Holding ‘power poses’ before meetings with an expanded chest, shoulders back and upright posture before meetings has been proven to boost confidence and buy-in. How would you hold yourself if you were confident? How would you walk? How would you take up space instead of slouching or closing in on yourself?

Face a fear.

What belief do you have that’s holding you back? Really want to dye your hair red but are scared of what your mum would say despite being a fully grown adult? Book the appointment. Never stepped foot in a gym because you’re scared of looking like you don’t know what you’re doing? Book an induction or group class. Terrified of public speaking? Sign up for Toastmasters. Do one thing this week that scares you. Challenge those thoughts that you ‘can’t’ one at a time and you’ll surprise yourself.

Edit those limiting beliefs.

My own change came when I ended unhelpful and outdated core beliefs. What we believe influences how we think, which influences how we feel, how we act and the results we get in life. To boost our confidence we need to master our beliefs and emotions. Through coaching that’s focused on the subconscious, you can identify what’s holding you back and change them to positive, helpful beliefs. You can sign up for your complimentary intro call today!

You can become someone who captivates a room, takes up space and knows they are just as worthy as everyone else. It’s not about how you talk to and approach others, but how you talk to yourself and approach your own life.